Almost Heroes (1998)
Almost History... Almost Legends... Mostly Ridiculous.
Genre : Adventure, Comedy, Western
Runtime : 1H 30M
Director : Christopher Guest
Synopsis
Two hapless explorers lead an ill-fated 1804 expedition through the Pacific Northwest in a hopeless, doomed effort to reach the Pacific Ocean before Lewis and Clark.
The life of the legendary Texas cowboy with his horse, Widowmaker, and how his romance with Slue Foot Sue disrupted it.
An angry Seminole chief wages war after his tribe is relocated from Florida to the American West.
Will Nitch is on a mission to achieve a transendental tantric sexual experience: a sustained orgasm. He begins to assemble a Secret Society of Women: women are, afterall, pivotal to helping a man to reach the cosmic blue lights. Will wants all the women for himself, and with the help of all the women in his life and his friend Chip, he plans a midnight tantric sex party; during which he hopes to climax to the point of reaching the mythical blue lights.
Hans der Beer's beloved polar bear Lars returns for more adventures, with a new feline friend.
Bill Marks is a burned-out veteran of the Air Marshals service. He views the assignment not as a life-saving duty, but as a desk job in the sky. However, today's flight will be no routine trip. Shortly into the transatlantic journey from New York to London, he receives a series of mysterious text messages ordering him to have the government transfer $150 million into a secret account, or a passenger will die every 20 minutes.
It's just after the Civil War and Ben Shelby arrives looking for Johnny Tallon whom he plans to kill. Shelby was the only survivor of a battle due to the cowardice of Tallon. Thinking Tallon dead, another man who lost a brother at the same battle arrives to kill Tallon's blind brother. Tallon arrives to find Shelby and his brother fleeing. Then they are attacked by Indians and Shelby and Tallon must now fight together postponing the inevitable showdown.
A common thief joins a mythical god on a quest through Egypt.
BELLE is inspired by the true story of Dido Elizabeth Belle, the illegitimate mixed race daughter of a Royal Navy Admiral. Raised by her aristocratic great-uncle Lord Mansfield and his wife, Belle's lineage affords her certain privileges, yet the color of her skin prevents her from fully participating in the traditions of her social standing. Left to wonder if she will ever find love, Belle falls for an idealistic young vicar's son bent on change who, with her help, shapes Lord Mansfield's role as Lord Chief Justice to end slavery in England
Chet Kasedon is after the Indians hidden gold mine but Chief Moya will not reveal it's location. He has also hired mining engineers Gale and Mortimer to locate the mine. When Gale sees Kasedon's cruelty to Moya, he switches sides.
Two street urchins meet up with a sad and lonely rich kid. They become friends when the kid's shady uncle mistakes them for his nephews.
Adventuring author Jean Williams is living in the wilds of Alaska alongside the Eskimo people gathering material for her novel. She befriends several animals who become her loyal friends such as a pair of bear cubs whose mother has been killed by hunter Gaston Rogers, a talking raven and the bereaved collie Firefly who will not leave the grave of her master, a game warden killed in the line of duty. The community is imperiled by a pack of wolves and wild dogs, led by a wild dog called Swift Lightning, who are killing all the reindeer. With the supply of fresh meat gone, the Eskimos are migrating to lands with more food. Hunter Gaston agrees to take Jean to Nenana, Alaska, along with his furs by dog sled. Jean, who despises Gaston as being more savage and blood thirsty than the four-legged predators, is followed by her loyal animals.
Nishko is a chief's son in the Great Plains, before Europeans arrive. During his rite of passage, he's determined to tame a painted pony. He approaches manhood while his peaceful clan is set upon by a nearby tribe willing to break a treaty. He must also contend with the kidnapping of three young women from his village, his pony's illness behind enemy lines, his mother's coma after a rattlesnake bite, the medicine man's urging that he sacrifice what he loves best, the attack of a cougar and of wolves, and his own injury while alone in the woods. His kindness, bravery, and quick thinking serve him well, but rescue come from an unexpected source.
When Kelly Morgan was 11 years old he had a terrifying encounter with Rana, a strange half man/half frog monster living in a lake. The creature killed his father and many other people before Kelly destroyed it. Now as a young man he returns to search for the monster's hidden treasure, and to see if the legendary creature really was killed.
Billy Judkins is a naturally gloomy Gus. His life changes when he is transferred from working in his company's Hoboken office to their Hollywood office. He is going to drive there with his wife and mother. Along the way, they encounter Mr. Pinkney and his new bride, who too are heading west. Their misadventures together and meeting up with a band of marauding Indians may prevent any of them from reaching their intended destination. If Billy and Mr. Pinkney ever make it to Hollywood, they're both in a for a big surprise.
This is the story of Wojtek - a magnificent 500lb military bear who fought in World War Two alongside a band of Polish soldiers, shared their beer and cigarettes - and eventually their fate. Through understanding the life and death of this unique creature we discover new meanings to the terms immigrant, patriot, and human being.
Anchor is building a railroad and to get cheap labor he gets Black Hawk's Indians to attack and burn the incoming wagon train. This forces the settlers to work for Anchor and he pays them in devalued scrip. When Rex figures out Anchor's swindle, Anchor gets Black Hawk to capture him. When Anchor turns on Black Hawk and shoots him, Black Hawk gets a chance to repay a debt to Rex.
A young orphan grows into adulthood, all the while searhing for his beloved white horse that disappeared years earlier.
Carmelita Fuentes is a fiery-Latin singer/dancer in Mexico City who has designs on Dennis Lindsay, an American publicity agent, for unclear reasons, while Lindsay's shiftless uncle Matthew Lindsay aids and abets her every step of the way to the marriage altar.
This film was not intended to stand by itself, but was designed as the cinematic aspect of Welles' Mercury Theatre stage presentation of William Gillette's 1894 comedy about a New York playboy who flees from the violent husband of his mistress and borrows the identity of a plantation owner in Cuba who is expecting the arrival of a mail order bride. The film component of the performance was ultimately never screened due to the absence of projection facilities at the venue. Long-believed to be lost, a workprint was discovered in 2008 and the film had its premiere in 2013.
Haru, an orphaned American who washes ashore in Japan and is mistaken for the great White Ninja of legend. Raised among the finest Ninjas, Haru grows strong and big - very big. With the grace of all Three Stooges rolled into one body, Haru is an embarrassment to his clan. But when a beautiful blonde pleads for his help, Haru is given one dangerous, disastrously funny chance to prove himself.
Hard-edged cop John Kimble gets more than he bargained for when he goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to get the goods on a brutal drug lord while at the same time protecting the man's young son. Pitted against a class of boisterous moppets whose antics try his patience and test his mettle, Kimble may have met his match … in more ways than one.
A fateful meeting with a mysterious stranger inspires Pee-wee Herman to take his first-ever holiday.
A young street-smart, Nathan Drake and his wisecracking partner Victor “Sully” Sullivan embark on a dangerous pursuit of “the greatest treasure never found” while also tracking clues that may lead to Nathan’s long-lost brother.
Paul Atreides, a brilliant and gifted young man born into a great destiny beyond his understanding, must travel to the most dangerous planet in the universe to ensure the future of his family and his people. As malevolent forces explode into conflict over the planet's exclusive supply of the most precious resource in existence-a commodity capable of unlocking humanity's greatest potential-only those who can conquer their fear will survive.