The Jönsson Gang & the Black Diamond (1992)
Genre : Comedy, Crime
Runtime : 1H 44M
Director : Hans Åke Gabrielsson
Synopsis
Sickan, the leader of the criminal Jönsson gang is incarcerated in a mental institution, attended by Dr M.A. Busé, who admire a handbook in crime that Sickan has been writing. Blackmailed by the nefarious banker Wall-Enberg, Dr Busé and Sickan's partners Vanheden and Dynamite-Harry execute Sickan's plan of stealing the valuable Black Diamond of the Romanovs from the National Museum.
When the four boys see an R-rated movie featuring Canadians Terrance and Philip, they are pronounced "corrupted", and their parents pressure the United States to wage war against Canada.
Jack Beauregard, an ageing gunman of the Old West, only wants to retire in peace and move to Europe. But a young gunfighter, known as "Nobody", who idolizes Beauregard, wants him to go out in a blaze of glory. So he arranges for Jack to face the 150-man gang known as The Wild Bunch and earn his place in history.
Rookie cop, Amelia Donaghy reluctantly teams with Lincoln Rhyme – formerly the department's top homicide detective but now paralyzed as a result of a spinal injury – to catch a grisly serial killer dubbed 'The Bone Collector'. The murderer's special signature is to leave tantalizing clues based on the grim remains of his crimes.
A lowly pencil pusher working for MI7, Johnny English is suddenly promoted to super spy after Agent One is assassinated and every other agent is blown up at his funeral. When a billionaire entrepreneur sponsors the exhibition of the Crown Jewels—and the valuable gems disappear on the opening night and on English's watch—the newly-designated agent must jump into action to find the thief and recover the missing gems.
On behalf of "oppressed bugs everywhere," an inventive ant named Flik hires a troupe of warrior bugs to defend his bustling colony from a horde of freeloading grasshoppers led by the evil-minded Hopper.
Exploring the further adventures of Carmen and Juni Cortez, who have now joined the family spy business as Level 2 OSS agents. Their new mission is to save the world from a mad scientist living on a volcanic island populated by an imaginative menagerie of creatures. On this bizarre island, none of the Cortez's gadgets work and they must rely on their wits--and each other--to survive and save the day.
Book superstore magnate, Joe Fox and independent book shop owner, Kathleen Kelly fall in love in the anonymity of the Internet—both blissfully unaware that he's trying to put her out of business.
Julius and Vincent Benedict are the results of an experiment that would allow for the perfect child. Julius was planned and grows to athletic proportions. Vincent is an accident and is somewhat smaller in stature. Vincent is placed in an orphanage while Julius is taken to a south seas island and raised by philosophers. Vincent becomes the ultimate low life and is about to be killed by loan sharks.
Mollie is a single working mother who's out to find the perfect father for her child. Her baby, Mikey, prefers James, a cab driver turned babysitter who has what it takes to make them both happy. But Mollie won't even consider James. It's going to take all the tricks a baby can think of to bring them together before it's too late.
When the Valley of Peace is threatened, lazy Po the panda discovers his destiny as the "chosen one" and trains to become a kung fu hero, but transforming the unsleek slacker into a brave warrior won't be easy. It's up to Master Shifu and the Furious Five -- Tigress, Crane, Mantis, Viper and Monkey -- to give it a try.
After a small misunderstanding aboard an airplane escalates out of control, timid businessman Dave Buznik is ordered by the court to undergo anger management therapy at the hands of specialist Dr. Buddy Rydell. But when Buddy steps up his aggressive treatment by moving in, Dave goes from mild to wild as the unorthodox treatment wreaks havoc with his life.
Jon and Garfield visit the United Kingdom, where a case of mistaken cat identity finds Garfield ruling over a castle. His reign is soon jeopardized by the nefarious Lord Dargis, who has designs on the estate.
A young street hustler attempts to escape the rigors and temptations of the ghetto in a quest for a better life.
John and his buddy, Jeremy are emotional criminals who know how to use a woman's hopes and dreams for their own carnal gain. Their modus operandi: crashing weddings. Normally, they meet guests who want to toast the romantic day with a random hook-up. But when John meets Claire, he discovers what true love – and heartache – feels like.
Climbing aboard their mammoth recreational vehicle for a cross-country road trip to the Colorado Rockies, the Munro family – led by dysfunctional patriarch, Bob – prepares for the adventure of a lifetime. But spending two weeks together in one seriously small space has a way of cramping their style.
Aiming to defeat the Man of Steel, wealthy executive Ross Webster hires bumbling but brilliant Gus Gorman to develop synthetic kryptonite, which yields some unexpected psychological effects in the third installment of the 1980s Superman franchise. Between rekindling romance with his high school sweetheart and saving himself, Superman must contend with a powerful supercomputer.
Two guys whose love lives are a wreck look forward to finding ladies on the high seas. Unfortunately, they've mistakenly been booked on a gay cruise.
Professor Phillip Brainard, an absent minded professor, works with his assistant Weebo, trying to create a substance that's a new source of energy and that will save Medfield College where his sweetheart Sara is the president. He has missed his wedding twice, and on the afternoon of his third wedding, Professor Brainard creates flubber, which allows objects to fly through the air.
Trucker Rubber Duck and his buddies Pig Pen, Widow Woman and Spider Mike use their CB radios to warn one another of the presence of cops. But conniving Sheriff Wallace is hip to the truckers' tactics, and begins tricking the drivers through his own CB broadcasts. Facing constant harassment from the law, Rubber Duck and his pals use their radios to coordinate a vast convoy and rule the road.
Following the death of his father, young Danny Madigan takes comfort in watching action movies featuring the indestructible Los Angeles cop Jack Slater. After being given a magic ticket by theater manager Nick, Danny is sucked into the screen and bonds with Slater. When evil fictional villain Benedict gets his hands on the ticket and enters the real world, Danny and Jack must follow and stop him.
As always, Sickan has come up with a new plan. This time he wants to rob the IKEA furniture store. During their nightly break-in Sickan discovers that the store is used as a secret smuggling central for sending American computers to the Soviet Union. The computers are picked up by Soviet submarines sneaking into the Swedish archipelago. Naturally, it is their arch enemy Wall-Enberg who is behind all of this.
When Vanheden and Dynamit-Harry tries to break doctor Busé out of jail, they get Herman Melvin instead. He has been working at the Swedish Mint and the doctor, who has started to think like Sickan, has written a plan for making a burglary there, on Melvin's back. However, something goes wrong. They don't get a lot of Deutsch-marks as they planned but instead, they end up on a ship going to Poland, together with bunches and bunches of Polish Zlotys (the Polish currency). In Poland, they discover that the mafia are very interested in that money and Wall-Enberg is working with the mafia.
Sickan, Vanheden and Rocky try to rob the Berns nightclub one night, but Vanheden has made the mistake to invite his constantly drunk cousin, the old dynamiter Dynamite-Harry and he ruins the plan. Sickan is arrested, and has to spend 10 months in a small, locked room. When he is released, he has a new plan, but Rocky and Vanheden have decided to go straight. Together with Dynamite-Harry, Sickan plans to rob a cold store, managed by their arch-enemy, Wall-Enberg.
Sickan has a new plan. This time, the gang are going to steal a small computer micro chip which contains a top secret plan of what the government intends to do with Sweden in the future. But, Wall-Enberg is also planning to steal the chip. The payment will be 55 million Swedish crowns in gold and diamonds to whoever can deliver the chip to the foreign investors. Who will grab hold of the chip, the Jönsson gang or Wall-Enberg?
The movie begins with the Jönsson gang making a minor burglary. It goes wrong and the gang leader, Sickan, gets caught. After he has spent 10 months in jail, Vanheden and Rocky come to welcome him when he's released. But he doesn't take notice of them, and he's picked up by the mysterious banker Wall-Enberg Jr. instead. He wants Sickan to perform a burglary in Switzerland, in order to retrieve the famous Bedford Diamonds. Sickan does this but is fooled by Wall-Enberg and nearly gets caught. When he returns to Sweden and re-unites with his old gang members, he's set on revenge, both physically and psychologically...
Vanheden and Dynamit-Harry, together with Harry's fiancée Doris, are in Mallorca while Sickan is still in Stockholm. However, Wall-Enberg talks him into doing a break-in at Las Palmas cathedral in Mallorca. Once persuaded, he can't resist the temptation and travels to Mallorca as well. However, Wall-Enberg obviously can't be trusted. Sickan is framed, caught and put in jail. While being escorted home to Sweden again, Vanheden and Harry sets up a plan to break him free. Sickan, once free, wants payback. The gang discover that an antiques dealer called Germann has something to do with the whole thing and that she's also collaborating with Wall-Enberg. The gang then decide to take a closer look at her and her antiques and they discover that there's a heist being planned against the cathedral in Palma.
Vanheden and Dynamite-Harry are approached by Sickan's grandmother and Sickan's younger brother Sven-Ingvar. Their evil nemesis Wall-Enberg are planning to steal billions of euros of the European Union's grants to culture. The grant of 350 million kronor, paid by an Italian bank acting as intermediary, equals 60 billion lire but through assistance of a Sicilian "businessman", this sum becomes 60 billion kronor when transferred. The money is to be transferred to a large number of bank accounts, and the account numbers are saved on a floppy disc that the Jönsson gang is trying to steal.
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Göran buys a house in a suburb. It is in need of some repairs, but Göran believes himself capable of repairing it himself with the help of some cheap craftsmen. However, the house is much worse than he thought. At the same time, a gang of crooks is searching for the dynamite they hid in the basement some time ago. Göran has to rescue both his wallet from greedy craftsmen as well as his marriage with Tina.
I bet anyone can get better at golf than you are in one week, a golfer says to her golfing businessman for a boyfriend in a quarrel. Unfortunately Stig-Helmer is standing nearby when the boyfriend accepts the bet, and he is chosen to be the competitor. Stig-Helmer has never played the game before, but his Norwegian friend Ole promises to help him.
The film is about the health resort Granhedsgården in Dalarna, Sweden, and they have a problem. They don't have many guests at all and something must be done. At the same time, Stig-Helmer is a little depressed after his girlfriend has left him, and so he lives on junk food. His best friend Ole invites him to come along to the health resort Granhedsgården. Now, the craziness begins.
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Special agent 007 comes face to face with one of the most notorious villains of all time, and now he must outwit and outgun the powerful tycoon to prevent him from cashing in on a devious scheme to raid Fort Knox -- and obliterate the world's economy.
In the 28th century, Valerian and Laureline are special operatives charged with keeping order throughout the human territories. On assignment from the Minister of Defense, the two undertake a mission to Alpha, an ever-expanding metropolis where species from across the universe have converged over centuries to share knowledge, intelligence, and cultures. At the center of Alpha is a mysterious dark force which threatens the peaceful existence of the City of a Thousand Planets, and Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.