The Deserters (1986)
Genre : Comedy
Runtime : 2H 35M
Director : Janusz Majewski
Synopsis
Set in military barracks in a small town during World War I. The soldiers herded in the barracks are 'politically suspect' mix of characters from all over of the Austro-Hungarian Empire: Czechs, Jews, and even Italians, but officers in charge are Germans. A new lieutenant arrives with the mission to bring order to the unit. He is the sadist, enjoying humiliating the men. Fed up with his behaviour the lower ranks kidnap him one night and string him up in a public toilet. They also make sure that he fouls up during the inspection. Eventually the five ring leaders are imprisoned. They escape and end up in Budapest posing as guards as guards of veterinary surgeons. They are caught and sent back to face a court martial and their old tormentor.
Clint Ramsey has to leave his job working at Martin Bormann's gas station and flee after his wife is murdered by psycho cop Harry Sledge, who tries to pin the murder on Clint. Crossing America, Clint gets sexually harassed on all sides by various voluptuous nymphomaniacs, and it all ends in a literally explosive climax.
After dumping a bucket of water on a beautiful young woman from the window of a train car, wealthy Frenchman Mathieu, regales his fellow passengers with the story of the dysfunctional relationship between himself and the young woman in question, a fiery 19-year-old flamenco dancer named Conchita. What follows is a tale of cruelty, depravity and lies -- the very building blocks of love.
It's Christmastime, and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration. But things never run smoothly for Clark, his wife Ellen, and their two kids. Clark's continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to keep going, knowing that his Christmas bonus is due soon.
Jack Powell suffers from an affliction that makes him grow four times faster than normal, so the 10-year-old looks like a 40-year-old man. After years of being tutored at home, Jack convinces his overprotective parents to send him to public school. The children don't know what to make of Jack, but with the help of his fifth-grade teacher, he makes an effort to win them over.
The dynamic duo of Chon Wang and Roy O'Bannon return for another crazy adventure. This time, they're in London to avenge the murder of Chon's father, but end up on an even bigger case. Chon's sister is there to do the same, but instead unearths a plot to kill the royal family. No one believes her, though, and it's up to Chon and Roy (who has romance on his mind) to prove her right.
When Quinn, a grouchy pilot living the good life in the South Pacific, agrees to transfer a savvy fashion editor, Robin, to Tahiti, he ends up stranded on a deserted island with her after their plane crashes. The pair avoid each other at first, until they're forced to team up to escape from the island -- and some pirates who want their heads.
Three single women in a picturesque Rhode Island village have their wishes granted - at a cost - when a mysterious and flamboyant man arrives in their lives.
Jerry Welbach, a reluctant bagman, has been given two ultimatums: The first is from his mob boss to travel to Mexico and retrieve a priceless antique pistol, known as "the Mexican"... or suffer the consequences. The second is from his girlfriend Samantha to end his association with the mob. Jerry figures alive and in trouble with Samantha is better than the more permanent alternative, so he heads south of the border.
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau is dead. At least that is what the world—and Charles Dreyfus—believe when a dead body is discovered in Clouseau's car after being shot off the road. Naturally, Clouseau knows differently and, taking advantage of not being alive, sets out to discover why an attempt was made on his life.
Barry B. Benson, a bee who has just graduated from college, is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a special trip outside the hive, Barry's life is saved by Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans actually eat honey, and subsequently decides to sue us.
When her great aunt dies, famed horror hostess Elvira heads for the uptight new England town of Falwell to claim her inheritance of a haunted house, a witch's cookbook and a punk rock poodle. But once the stuffy locals get an eyeful of the scream queen's ample assets, all hell busts out & breaks loose.
To test its top-secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average Americans it can find - an Army private and a prostitute - and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization so dumbed-down that they're the smartest people around.
A scheming raccoon fools a mismatched family of forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating – and learns a lesson about family himself.
After being discharged from the Army, Brian Flanagan moves back to Queens and takes a job in a bar run by Doug Coughlin, who teaches Brian the fine art of bar-tending. Brian quickly becomes a patron favorite with his flashy drink-mixing style, and Brian adopts his mentor's cynical philosophy on life and goes for the money.
After Dick Harper loses his job at Globodyne in an Enron-esque collapse, he and his wife, Jane, turn to crime in order to handle the massive debt they now face. Two intelligent people, Dick and Jane actually get pretty good at robbing people and even enjoy it -- but they have second thoughts when they're reminded that crime can hurt innocent people. When the couple hears that Globodyne boss Jack McCallister actually swindled the company, they plot revenge.
Employees at a Bennigan's-like restaurant (called, creatively enough, Shenanigan's), kill time before their real lives get started. But while they wait, they'll have to deal with picky customers who want their steak cooked to order and enthusiastic managers who want to build the perfect wait staff. Luckily, these employees have effective revenge tactics.
Roberta is a bored suburban housewife who is fascinated with a woman, Susan, she only knows about by reading messages to and from her in the personals section of the newspaper. This fascination reaches a peak when an ad with the headline "Desperately Seeking Susan" proposes a rendezvous. Roberta goes too, and in a series of events involving amnesia and mistaken identity, steps into Susan's life.
Dating coach Alex 'Hitch' Hitchens mentors a bumbling client, Albert, who hopes to win the heart of the glamorous Allegra Cole. While Albert makes progress, Hitch faces his own romantic setbacks when proven techniques fail to work on Sara Melas, a tabloid reporter digging for dirt on Allegra Cole's love life. When Sara discovers Hitch's connection to Albert – now Allegra's boyfriend – it threatens to destroy both relationships.
Two friends are invited for a weekend to a luxury island with their boss. The boss gets killed and nobody seems to notice, except for the two friends. In order not to become suspects of murder they treat the body as a puppet and make people believe he's still alive. The killer wants to do his job so when he is informed that the stiff is still alive he's got to shoot him again, and again, and again.
Forlorn heiress Penelope Wilhern is cursed, and the only way out is to fall in love with someone of suitable stock. But how can she find her soul mate when she's sequestered inside her family's estate with only her parents to keep her company. This untraditional fairy tale about a girl who bucks convention to create her own happy ending.
