Hair Department Head
The journalists at the Onion News Network will do anything to stay at the top of their game. And if they can't find a great story, they'll create one.
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Jack Harper is one of the last few drone repairmen stationed on Earth. Part of a massive operation to extract vital resources after decades of war with a terrifying threat known as the Scavs, Jack’s mission is nearly complete. His existence is brought crashing down when he rescues a beautiful stranger from a downed spacecraft. Her arrival triggers a chain of events that forces him to question everything he knows and puts the fate of humanity in his hands.
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A troubled hedge fund magnate, desperate to complete the sale of his trading empire, makes an error that forces him to turn to an unlikely person for help.
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In Manhattan, a bike messenger picks up an envelope that attracts the interest of a dirty cop, who pursues the cyclist throughout the city.
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Noah, is not your typical entertain-the-kids-no-matter-how-boring-it-is kind of sitter. He's reluctant to take a sitting gig; he'd rather, well, be doing anything else, especially if it involves slacking. When Noah is watching the neighbor's kid he gets a booty call from his girlfriend in the city. To hook up with her, Noah takes to the streets, but his urban adventure spins out of control as he finds himself on the run from a maniacal drug lord.
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As a CIA officer, Evelyn Salt swore an oath to duty, honor and country. Her loyalty will be tested when a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy. Salt goes on the run, using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative to elude capture. Salt's efforts to prove her innocence only serve to cast doubt on her motives, as the hunt to uncover the truth behind her identity continues and the question remains: "Who is Salt?"
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The Rizzos, a family who doesn't share their habits, aspirations, and careers with one another, find their delicate web of lies disturbed by the arrival of a young ex-con brought home by Vince, the patriarch of the family, who is a corrections officer in real life, and a hopeful actor in private.
Key Hair Stylist
A lifelong bachelor confronts his intimacy issues when he sublets his apartment to a fetching biologist. His heartsick fish and his wise best buddy are on hand to provide perspective.
