James Caulfield

Straight out of Jersey comes Patricia Dombrowski, a.k.a. Killa P, a.k.a. Patti Cake$, an aspiring rapper fighting through a world of strip malls and strip clubs on an unlikely quest for glory.

The journalists at the Onion News Network will do anything to stay at the top of their game. And if they can't find a great story, they'll create one.