When accountant David, doctor Juliet and journalist Alex are searching for a fourth roommate for their trendy flat, they settle on the aloof Hugo. However, they soon find Hugo dead of a drug overdose, beside a large sum of cash. After some deliberation, the three others decide to keep the money and to dismember and bury Hugo's body. Soon, each roommate starts thinking about keeping all the money by scamming the others.
Radio host Alan 'Dickie' Bird witnesses how an icecream van is attacked and destroyed by angry competitors. This leads him into the struggle between two Italian families over the icecream market of Glasgow.
King Arthur, accompanied by his squire, recruits his Knights of the Round Table, including Sir Bedevere the Wise, Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot and Sir Galahad the Pure. On the way, Arthur battles the Black Knight who, despite having had all his limbs chopped off, insists he can still fight. They reach Camelot, but Arthur decides not to enter, as "it is a silly place".
