This movie debut for saucy British TV comic Benny Hill has Benny leaving his job as a sweeper after winning some money. He becomes a private detective and investigates a plot to assassinate British scientists.
When British Railways announce the closure of the Titfield to Mallingford branch line a group of local residents make a bid to run it themselves, backed by a monied member of the community who is attracted by the complete lack of licensing hours on trains. Unfortunately the local bus company starts to use methods that can hardly be seen as fair competition.
The unassuming, nebbishy inventor Sidney Stratton creates a miraculous fabric that will never be dirty or worn out. Clearly he can make a fortune selling clothes made of the material, but may cause a crisis in the process. After all, once someone buys one of his suits they won't ever have to fix them or buy another one, and the clothing industry will collapse overnight. Nevertheless, Sidney is determined to put his invention on the market, forcing the clothing factory bigwigs to resort to more desperate measures...
As the Boer War ends a South African soldier hides a cache of diamonds he finds on a body. He returns to the town he left three years earlier where his girl has married a disgraced English officer. Needing funds to get back to pick up the diamonds the Boer enlists the help of a fellow soldier as well as the Englishman and a local hotel keeper. This ill-assorted bunch set off into the bush intent on finding their fortune.
