Gene N. Fowler

Warren Nefron is a hopeless klutz who has some of the worst luck in the world: when he tries to end it all with a foolproof suicide plan, he still manages to mess it up. In desperation, he goes to a psychiatrist to see if there is some way for him to end his troubles.

In 1846, a reporter for the New York Herald joins a wagon train bound for the Oregon Territory. He hopes to confirm a rumor that President Polk is sending in soldiers disguised as settlers in order to strengthen American claims to the Territory.