Alex Conway is an actor who plays the part of 'Eddie Weary', a sympathetic, down-at-heel, shabby, Northern, working-class private detective, in a TV show. Except Conway is actually a complete idiot in real-life: stuck up, pretentious and selfish, the constant focus of tabloid interest for his bad, usually drunken behaviour. But then he discovers he gets truckloads of mail from fans who think he really is Eddie Weary, asking for his help, so he decides to help them - with the aid of his assistant, Birdie.
In the days leading up the Queen's Silver Jubilee, Pauline, a recently separated single mother, receives a visit from a bailiff and is given 15 days to address her overdue rent payments. Meanwhile, the local council is under pressure to cut expenditure, and their decisions result in Pauline's mentally handicapped daughter Paula being transferred from a care home for special needs children to an old people's home, where she is all alone.