Himself
From the filmmaking geniuses that brought you crap thrice before comes the cinematic juggernaut, crap. Nearly two years in the making with a budget of 75 million rubles, crap brings to the silver screen the true story of a boy and the crap that is his life. With more shit than shit, more number fours than number two and if you're looking for boobs, forget about it. Crap is guaranteed to be the most stolen item at the video store this year and it will tickle your sphincter and exacerbate your duodenum. It doesn't get any better than this folks. Forget all that crap you've seen before (owl pellets). Here it is, the real thing in bold helvetica. New crap for the double O penny. The genius contained in this little black box is blinding. You are not ready. Hold your penis and spin around three times. Stuff your face with wolf scat. Cut off your arms and beat yourself. Kosick will shine your chest. Dissect a raccoon. Go suck on a horse asshole with your father.
